Travel woes and myths...

Sorry I haven't been very active in blogging lately - work has been more hectic than usual and I actually just got back from a couple of short trips that took away my weekends. I just got back from a trip to San Francisco and although I had a great time, it reminded me just how much I hate everything about flying.

First, a rant. The new laws about liquids mean that I have no other choice but to check a bag (this hair doesn't just HAPPEN people, and my hair product doesn't come in smaller than 3 oz bottles). Hair woes aside, every time I get in line at the airport or stand in front of a baggage carousel, I see the same things that drive me crazy. So, as a public service, I'd like to present you with Masala Skeptic's Rules for Flying Politely:

1. When the flight attendant says 'turn off your cell phones,' just turn off your goddamn cell phones! Although there isn't actually any evidence to say that you'll crash the plane, there's a good chance you'll freak out a fellow passenger, who could then report you and get your butt fined, put on the No Fly List, or tossed in Gitmo and I will MISS MY CONNECTION you selfish dickweed.


2. Baggage carousel rule #1. With great positioning comes great responsibility. If you must stand right in front of the spot where the baggage carousel spits out bags, at least get out of the way when someone next to you tries to get a bag. Don't just watch as they make a grab for it, can't get a good enough grip to pull it off the carousel and then get dragged around the belt. And don't get pissy if, after all that, they run into you or hit you with a heavy bag. In an ideal world, you would help the person get the bag off the carousel. That means they get their bag and you maintain that crucial spot that allows you to get your bags a full 15 seconds before the person standing 4 feet down the carousel. In this modern world, you ignore them and continue the cell phone conversation you started on initial approach to the airport.


3. Baggage carousel rule #2. Once you do get your bag off the carousel, GO AWAY. (Latin: Vo fuckus est.) Don't stand around looking at it, pulling items out or making sure your 3.4oz tube of toothpaste didn't get stolen. Grab 'n' go, people - after five seconds, you will get a Homeland Security-approved wedgie.


4. Security lines suck, seriously. You never feel more that the terrorists have won than when you're standing barefoot after going through security, trying to get your laptop and ziplog baggie shoved back into your carry on, boarding pass in your mouth, while trying to get a jacket on and hoping your pants dont fall off because your belt hasn't made it throught the x-rays. All while the machine operator is watching Oprah on one of those screens. Just move down and keep moving. Go as far to the end of the conveyor as you can. Then, grab your stuff and repack and put yourself together at one of the chairs or tables off to the side. Yes, I know, there are never enough but even if you end up in a corner on the floor, it's better than the carnage of a four-laptop pileup. (Unless you got your laptop free already -- then a pileup is high comedy. Schadenfreude is a harsh mistress.)


5. Zone boarding is not rocket science. Don't crowd around the gate entrance when they start boarding. Don't get in line before your zone is called. Just sit your ass down until they call you! When there's a crowd milling around or a long line of people who shouldn't be boarding, it just causes confusion for the people who actually SHOULD be boarding and additional delays as they kick your butt out of line for trying to board when you shouldn't.(Hubby disagrees with me on this. He says that while zone-jumping is obnoxious, being one of the first from your zone on has advantages. Getting the one measly laptop bag stored overhead before the idiot with the minifridge takes up the whole compartment makes for a more enjoyable flight. Plus, more Schadenfreude.)

As I was writing this, I also did some research into travel myths in general. Here are some that I hadn't heard of:

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1. The airplane is a breeding ground for disease and the recirculated air means you're more likely to get sick on a plane. I have a huge amount of anecdotal evidence to support this but the science simply isnt there when it comes to bacterial infections. The story is different when it comes to highly infectious diseases like TB or cooties. Forbes Traveler says, in spite of the science, it's probably a good idea to be cautious:

Hydrate yourself while on the plane, wash your hands often, and turn off the air vent over your head to not only avoid a stiff neck but also keep your own air around you longer and put off breathing someone else's. And no tongues.

OK, I may have made some of that up. But it's good advice in general. As is, don't use Airborne. That could make things worse :) Finally, don't wear an Asshole Medallion, or you risk some serious mocking:

1. If you lose your hotel key card, your identity or credit card information could be stolen. Theoretically, this is possible. Hotels can encrypt your credit card information on your key card. But they almost never do. According to Joe Brancatelli at Portfolio.com:

Despite an endless series of “tips” in the last year, I’ve never seen a police report or legal documents that prove a person’s financial details were lifted from a hotel key card. Not convinced? Then do what I do: Take the key card with you when you leave. No hotel in the world requires you to turn it in when you check out. I’ve never even been asked to do so.

Plus, if the person next to you is an obnoxious snorer, slip it in his or her carryon and make the spouse suspect an affair.

1. "Rule 240" will ensure that if your flight is cancelled or seriously delayed, the airline will put you on the next available flight for any other carrier flying the route. This one is interesting and I found some conflicting recommendations online. Everyone agrees that the original Rule 240, an old Civil Aeronautics Board regulation required airlines to immediately put you on another flight, is no longer valid after the airlines were deregulated in 1978. However, while some say that now, each airline makes its own rules and won't pay any attention to citing Rule 240, others say it's worth a shot, because most airlines have created their own version of Rule 240.

TODAY's Travel Editor, Peter Greenberg, insists that he's been '240-ed' several times in the past year:

the real bottom line here is that while no one airline is legally mandated to follow Rule 240, many of them do — if they want to. And the real key is that you have to ask — not demand — and in many cases, you'll be accommodated.

My guess is this is more a customer service issue than anything else. If you make enough noise and, happen to be the primary travel correspondent or a major TV network, I think you'll probably get a slightly different level of service. Has anyone else heard of this rule? Had it work?

What are your favorite travel peeves and myths?

Cross posted at Skepchick

Masala Skeptic v. 2.0

Made some changes to the site, including my new cool Masala Skeptic logo - how cool is that? And added a CafePress store so you can now buy Masala Skeptic thongs, or whatever suits your fancy :)

Updates to the site

Don't look! I'm changing :)

Sorry if the site looks strange today - I'm adding some new logos etc.

She is woman, here's her woo...

I happened to catch this on the morning show last week. Helen Reddy, who co-wrote and sang "I am Woman(Hear me Roar)" - the great rally cry for feminism in the 70s. She won a Grammy for the song and famously thanked God during her acceptance speech "because She makes everything possible."

35-odd (apparently very odd) years later, she's doing the morning show tour, talking about her new autobiography and the fact that she's a licensed hypnotherapist. She also support psychics, Loose change(the 9-11 'Truther' nutjobs) and a slew of liberal conspiracy theory types. (See the sections on her site with her recommended reading and links).

Now, I'm the first to admit that just being a celebrity musician or actor doesn't mean you have to be a role model or, even smart. But it is sort of sad that the woman who sang the liberation anthem of a generation of women support pseudoscience, half-truths and woo.

Oh, well, we'll always have Gloria Gaynor... and, of course, my personal favorite feminist, Ms. Piggy... :)

The hidden dangers of pseudoscience

Last week, a woman in india was tied to a tree and beaten by a mob for being a witch. When this headline first came up on my blackberry, I thought 'oh great, another story about ignorance causing people to claim some poor woman is a witch.' But when I read it in detail, the story has more to it. The woman was actually claiming to be a faith healer and was selling her services as such. She was paid by a man to help his wife:

Ram Ayodhya, who could face up to seven years in prison for his role in the attack, told police he was justified in beating the woman, Tiwari said.

Ayodhya said he paid her to use magic and prayer to improve his wife's health.

When his wife's condition deteriorated, Ayodhya accused her of performing black magic and weighing the same as a duck, Tiwari said, and a crowd soon gathered and tied her to the tree.

This is one reason why Sylvia Browne's book "Bringing My Teachings and Love to India" isn't written yet.

Now, I am certainly not condoning this man's behavior, or the behavior of the crowd in resorting to violence. But I think this story demonstrates the hidden dangers of pseudoscience. By making claims that don't actually have any foundation, you can get into some serious trouble if you can't produce what you claim you can. And if you claim to do woo crap like faith healing, it's tough to scoff when the howling mob (literally in this case) accuses you of doing DIFFERENT woo crap like black magic and witchcraft.

Maybe she should have claimed that there was a more powerful wizard somewhere LIKE MAYBE YOU SIR RIGHT THERE who was casting the bad juju and she was actually fighting to keep her alive as long as she could. It's not like that would sound too crazy for these people to swallow.

Take heart, though, there are folks trying to fight the good fight in India. As I mentioned in a previous post, the India Rationalist Association challenged one of the top tantriks in India to demonstrate his power on live TV. He failed and now the show is available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube - Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3.

Enjoy!

The Great Tantra Challenge!

Here's a great story that was covered in SWIFT and other places about some of the work that Rationalist International is doing in India. Earlier this month, Sanal Edamaruku challenged a tantrik, or 'black magician' to demonstrate his powers on national TV.

After 2 hours of chanting, sprinkling water, rubbing his 'victim' and waving a knife, Pandit Surinder Sharma was unable to do anything to Edamaruku. He tried to make excuses ('Edamaruku was being protected by a very strong god that was protecting him!') and when that failed (Edamaruku explained that he's an atheist), he said that he could use super 100% pulp-free with calcium unfailing black magic to destroy Edamaruku but that it only worked at night.

Sharma didn't think this through, since they challenged him to come back that evening. The best part of all this was that India TV, the channel that showed this, got huge ratings and promoted this as "The Great Tantra Challenge." And when, of course, Sharma did nothing except amuse Edamaruku that night, ripping up peieces of paper with Edamaruku's name on it and burning them, throwing mustard seeds into the fire and burning an effigy of Edamaruku made of wheat flour (really), millions of people watched him make a fool of himself -- which is probably better than the murder rap he might have faced if he'd succeeded.

I really hope this starts a trend - the newest form of reality TV - showing up people who make huge claims and getting them to demonstrate what really is going on.

By the mustard seeds of Edamaruku!

Blasphemy for the rest of us...

In celebration of the UK's official approval of blasphemy, I am going to blaspheme! My hubby was on a message board the other day where someone was telling him that when an atheist says "Goddammit," it implies at least some vague belief in God. I told him to respond with this quote from Terry Pratchett:

When you hit your thumb with an 8 pound hammer, its nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very strong, special minded atheist to jump up and down, with their their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout "Oh random fluctuations in the space time continuum!" or ‘Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!’

Still -- in case it's a pervasive belief that taking God's name in vain is a secret handshake of theism, maybe we could come up with alternatives. So, dear readers, I present for you, blasphemy for the rest of us:

"Holy Curie's Isotopes!"
"Sweet Shermer's Powerpoint!"
"Dawkins on a crutch!"
"Jumpin' JehosaPlait!"
"Mother of Galileo!"
"By the beard of Randi!"
"Eugenie H. Tapdancing Scott!"
"Great Merciful Hawking!"

What else? There are few things that roll off the tongue as easily as a good GODDAMN, especially if you put a break of 3-5 seconds between the two syllables.

The quest continues... I expect you all to give me suggestions in the comments!